But Why?

After years of trying to juggle work and family, I finally decided after the birth of my third child to become a stay at home mom.  This was detrimental to the income of our house, and we have had to learn how to live smarter (i.e. on less money!).  But it was a joint decision between my husband and me in an effort to stop an out of control spiral of stress before we reached an age where we looked back and said, "Why?  Why did we let our life pass us by?  Why didn't we do something to change things?"  To make the change, it meant taking time (we didn't have) to stop and examine where we had been and where we were going to be if we stayed on the same path of just trying to get through each day.

The stress was mainly caused by two working parents, who both thought our professional jobs were important, and whose jobs required 24/7 attention and lots of hours of "extra" marketing with participating on boards and committees, in addition to handling the general hardships of running our own business. Oh, and did I mention young kids thrown into the mix?  It was hard to shift gears from being in an adversarial and argumentative nature with our jobs to a nurturing, listening, and loving nature with our family.  We wanted to think we were happy.  But were we?  We were happy to have our family, but unhappy with how we interacted with them and each other.  Now that I'm home and able to focus on keeping the home in order, and focus on the kids, I have become the patient mother I knew I could be if I wasn't always worrying about what I had to get done at work the next day, or what problems of others I had to deal with of as part of my job, or the guilt of not being with my kids during the day, or for being grumpy with my kids and husband, or for bringing fast food home yet again, or for just not doing enough, or being enough.  I realized that I am only human.  And it has been a five year plus struggle to accept that I'm not superwoman, but now that I have, I am free to be me.  I can truly be happy just enjoying my family and being creative on how to live on a budget.

Now that I'm not working, I can't afford to just run to the store and buy a movie to put on for the kids, so instead I pull out a board game and we play it.  Or we go to the library or park, for free.  We spend more quality time together as a result.  And we don't feel the pressure to run through a drive-thru to save time between activities--we cook a meal and sit down together to enjoy.  That's healthier for body and mind.  We are happier.  I know I keep saying it, but I'm so excited about life now.  And you can be too.  It just takes making a commitment to yourself and your family to know what is important in life.  I'm not advocating that the only reason I'm happy is because I'm a stay at home mom.  For me, my job and all the related stress and complications, poured over into my home life to make it unbearable.  Some people need to the opposite--to go to a job to keep their sanity, and that is what goal they have--to get into the workplace to help feel a balance in their life.  No matter your situation, desires, and stressors, you can make small changes that make a big difference.  This blog is just my story, and I'm not saying it's right for everyone, just my family.  That's why I hope to have stories in the future of others who have done something in their life to make a positive difference in how they feel toward life in general.

But enough of why!  You get the idea--especially if you are going through similar feelings about anything even remotely like this in your life right now.  I'll rant more later about the causes of what I like to call the "drains" in life--like the cons of being tied to technology (and how to turn it into a pro instead), or the cons of being in too many activities, whether it be your kids' activities or your own (i.e. how to say "no" AND let go of the guilt you might feel when you say it)--that led up to the changes we made and how we are working to get them under control.  Next blog:  De-cluttering.

Begin at the beginning...

Ahhh....March is finally here and spring is just around the corner. The kids are running and jumping on the playground, a special spring in their step (no pun intended) and a certain youthful exuberance in the tones of their laughter.  Spring is the proverbial time for new beginnings, and that's just what our family has embarked upon--a new beginning of sorts.  We are trying to live more simply, to enjoy life and each other more every day.  How are we doing this?  Eating healthier with less sugar, salt, and preservatives.  Getting more exercise by purchasing bikes for the family and making a point to just go outside and walk or play every day.  Minimizing the chaos by organizing, streamlining, and decluttering.  Living life and improving our daily moods by taking time to smile at each other, hug one another, and laugh with each other.  Becoming a part of our community by getting involved with the school, church, and charitable organizations locally.   Going green by recycling, reusing, and definitely reducing.  Trying to bring balance to life by focusing less on the material and putting a budget into place for sanity's sake.  Doing things we enjoy such as being out in the nature, socializing with friends and family, doing jobs we love, and for me, writing this blog. I'm happy to report that after a few months of taking the scary first steps (i.e. "the plunge") and making these lifestyle changes, our family is healthier and happier.  I'm still learning every day, and making positive changes every day.  And some days, like with any implementation of big changes, we have our setbacks and stumble.  But that's life. I believe you make the choice to be happy or not.  I choose happiness.  I'll tell you about our journey in future blogs, and hope to get to a point to add stories of other people's journeys through life because I believe we can all learn something from each other, and everyone has an interesting story to tell.  That's the what....next blog: the "why".